I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
