I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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