Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
