love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize