No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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