I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
