Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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