I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
