I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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