there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
