the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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