This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
