I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
