At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
pray to the hookup gods
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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