He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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