I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
