You can't special order awesome
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
