My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize