Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
