we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Crop dusting thru forever 21
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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