I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
