Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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