it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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