That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
