If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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