I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
