This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
