you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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