Do you still have your period?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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