...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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