THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
