is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
