cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
