I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What a dumb baby whore.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
