he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
