Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
