so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
