Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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