i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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