have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
