Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
