just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
