I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
