But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
