evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
