Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
