i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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