If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
