I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
