btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
