Your face is a jimmy john
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
