Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
