East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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