I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I lost the right to judge tonight
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize
