oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
