I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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