1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
