it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I have already put on my inside pants.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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