Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
