That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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