I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
