Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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