We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
