yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
