scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
