his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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