Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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