i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
